RWBY SIMULATION ARK MAH BOYS!
by AccelerationNoble
Summary: Dashie plays a RWBY simulation game! Tons of hilarious shit is about to go down, sooo... LET'S DO THIS SHIT!
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

Dashie drank from his water bottle and allowed himself to sink into his chair. He had a relaxed smile on as he closed his eyes.

His eyes suddenly burst open.

"WHAT UP!" Dashie began as he practically threw himself in front of his camera.

"IT'S DASHIE! AND WEL-COME BACK TO RWIO-BYO-WIO-RWBY! MAH BOYS!"

Dashie grinned as he took off his expensive-as-fuck beats red Headphones and placed it onto his lap.

"ALRIGHT MAH BOYS! I WANNA THANK MONTY OUM FOR SPONSORING THIS GAME TO ME!" Dashie grabbed a nearby Yang Plush.

"Look at this!" Dashie grabbed the Yang doll and pulled it in front of his camera.

The Yang plush doll appeared to be smirking while winking at the display.

"THIS SHIT REAL AS FUCK!" Dashie screamed out before looking at the Yang doll.

Setting it aside, he began talking again, "Alright mah dudes. Ya'll been all over my Twitter like-" Dashie raised his arms in the air as he began doing hand gestures.

"Dashie! Dashie! Dashie! Play RWBY! And you know what... I will!" Dashie paused as he showed a game disk to the homies out there.

The game disk was a playstation 4 game. It had the crew of Rwby in it, the title was "RWBY SIMULATION ARK"

"I finally got the game! And now without further ado!" Dashie got serious as he placed the game in his playstation 4. He grabbed his VR headset and placed it on.

As the screen finally loaded after a long ass time, he grabbed his controller paused then started doing rapid karate motions with his hands.

"LET'S DO THIS SHIT!"

The screen finally loaded with a pop up menu.

 **Let the game simulation begin!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER ONE: I'M FINALLY IN!**

"Oh!" Dashie was quiet as a soft beat came from his speakers.

"Mah, boys..." Dashie whispered as the soft beat then became a chorus.

Dashie slowly rocked to the beat of the intro song. Damn, he had to admit this game's soundtrack was pretty fire.

Not as hot as his mixtape, but still pretty fire.

The camera zoomed in on Dashie moving his shoulders to the angelic tune, "Ya'll gotta admit. This music is fine as Hell!"

Pressing start, Dashie was brought up to the option screen. After placing his settings in, he was introduced to the next step.

He immediately pressed on the option of 'New Game'.

 **Select Your Character**

Dashie grabbed his controller as several characters were displayed on the screen.

He gaped at the roster, "WHAT THE FUCK! THERE'S TONS OF MUTHAFUCKA'S IN THIS GAME!"

He doesn't even know who he was going to choose.

Dashie shook his head with a scrunched up face, "RANDOM SELECTION BITCH!"

The selection bar went from one character to another, it kept going as it tried to determine what character Dashie was going to play as.

Finally after a few seconds, it landed on someone.

Dashie felt his eyebrows twitch as the selection bar landed on a girl with white hair, a serious look was in her eyes as she posed with her weapon.

"WEISS BITCH ASS!" He screamed out with his voice echoing through his crib.

He remembered seeing alot of clips of Weiss Schnee on other videos, that and he saw a few clips of the show.

She was as worse as Donkey's Bitch Ass!

"Hell NAW!" He pressed random again and it landed on the not-so-popular blonde knight of Beacon, 'Jaune Arc.'

"That's what I'm talking about!" now Jaune was a character he actually liked from the show.

He selected Jaune.

 **Is this the character you wish to be?**

"Damn right this is the character I want to be!" he pressed yes.

Just for another fuckin question to pop up on his screen.

 **Are you sure?**

"DAMN RIGHT I'M SURE!" Dashie paused to drink some water, "He's better than Weiss owns bitch ass!"

Pressing yes again, it wasn't long until he finally got a notification.

 **"Welcome to Remnant."** a soft melody came until it started to rock out.

"HELL YES!"

His VR headset gear began to load as well.

Suddenly, Dashie was now apparently looking up at a ceiling, he looked around. He was on a bed inside a dorm room or somethin.

From the corner of the room, he saw a red haired girl bending down under a short table no doubt to grab something.

She wasn't wearing anything except a towel on, wrapped around her body showing her curves off.

"Come on," Pyrrha muttered as she tried to reach her hair tie under the table, "Almost got it."

She bent down some more, unaware that she was showing a glimpse of her sacred part to her crush Jaune.

"H-Hold on Pyrrha. We almost saw something, Pause tho!"

Pyrrha snapped her head towards Jaune who was looking at her with a grin.

"..."

"..."

"...wanna show me the Puh?"

Pyrrha's eyes widened, a massive blush appeared on her face.

Here she was on her knees bent down showing her crush her-

She screamed and grabbed the closest thing near her out of panic.

Which was unfortunately Nora's hammer.

Dashie widened his eyes as he saw Pyrrha bring her arm back.

He stretched out an arm towards, "BABY GIRL WAIT!"

She let go the gigantic fuckin hammer as it flew towards him at incredible speeds.

"SHIT!"


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER TWO: DO Y'ALL SHAVE THE PUH?!**

"OH SHIT!" Dashie screamed out when he saw the hammer flying towards him.

He smashed the pause button with his thumb as his eyes were still glued onto the hammer.

"Mah, Boys I just can't.." Dashie faced his camera with a shocked look, "All she had to do was say Yes to the Puh or not, BUT SHE WAS LIKE SCREW IT!, BITCH! AND THREW THE HAMMER AT ME!"

Dashie took a couple of breaths as he stared at the screen, "Should I resume? I mean, that hammer is going to hit me though."

He gulped and pressed resume on his controller.

The hammer began moving again, Dashie took a page out of Donkey's Bitch Ass own survival book and rolled out of the way.

The hammer hit the wall behind him.

Dashie ran to the door.

"WAIT JAUNE! I'M SORRY!" Pyrrha watched with her still blushed face as Jaune ran screaming out of the door.

She didn't even know he was there! She could've sworn that Jaune mentioned something about going to the library earlier on.

Pyrrha sighed as she scratched her head. She knows that she needs to apologize to him later.

The fact that he almost caught her naked embarrassed her even more.

One thing however was in her mind though.

"What is a Puh?"

Dashie ran down the corners of the school. Stopping, he leaned against the wall.

Grabbing his heart, he kept taking breaths, "Mah Boys. I haven't ran this fast since the VR version of Outlast 2 when it came out!"

"Hey Jaune!"

Dashie turned to see a group of four girls coming towards him.

"OH SHIT!" Dashie pulled out some breath mints and popped them into his mouth.

He had to check if his breath was on point.

"I'mma gonna get me some Puh!"

Team Rwby was just walking back to their dorm room before they saw Jaune who was leaning against the wall.

As they got closer, Dashie tried to act cool.

Team Rwby was expecting a normal hi from Jaune, but Jaune immediately jumped in front of them, surprising them.

"What up Mah Girls!" Dashie leaned towards Yang. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders acting as if they were best friends for a long time.

"Hey Yang! I'm kind of curious?! Do ya'll... shave the Puh?"

Yang, Weiss, Blake and Ruby blinked.

"... What?" Yang began with a scratch on her head.

"What are you talking about you dolt?" Weiss crossed her arms with an annoyed look in her eyes.

She almost snarled in disgust as Jaune turned towards her.

She huffed, no doubt thinking that he was going to say some weak confession or catch line before looking at her with adoration.

Weiss almost reeled back in shock as Jaune screamed at her.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU! WEISS BITCH ASS!"

Then gave her the bird.

Ruby gasped.

Blake dropped her coffee out of shock.

Yang gaped.

Nearby students who were either talking or minding their own business turned towards Jaune with shocked looks.

"Woah. Did you guys see that?" a student whispered out.

It was well known that Jaune had a huge crush on Weiss for a while. Everybody noticed it since he would normally confess to her everyday even though he gets rejected.

"Holy Crap!"

"Are you serious?!"

"Wow, even the loser isn't interested in the Schnee anymore."

More comments flew.

Weiss was just gaping as her mind tried to register what had just happened.

Jaune cussed at her!

The person who was always chasing after her was now looking at her with an uninterested look!

A certain gleam entered her eyes.

She had to admit... he had courage to say that to her.

Then the bell rang for class.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER THREE: MY AIM!**

"How the hell... did I get into this situation, Mah Boys?."

Dashie skedaddled to the classroom when the smokin baby Gal Glynda made an announcement about training in the forest.

The forest where the initiation took place.

AND THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS LITERALLY LAUNCHED INTO THE FOREST WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS!

WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL DOES THIS SHIT?!

Here he was, crouching behind some Puh shaped bushes.

I meant... bushes. Normal bushes.

Every student scattered especially the Baby Gals!... And Weiss Bitch Ass.

Dashie paused when he heard some noise ahead of him.

Looking over the bushes, he saw the back side of a dark black wolf.

"Alright Ya'll we found a wolf..." Dashie stood up and walked around the bush towards the wolf.

"Is it friendly Mah Boys? Well we about to find out!"

Dashie casually walked up to the wolf with a friendly grin, he gave a wave. "Hey how you doi-" the wolf snapped its head towards him.

Dashie paused upon seeing the skull-like mask on the wolf's head.

"WHATTHEFUCK!" the wolf growled before lunging towards Dashie.

"NOO~!" Dashie pushed the wolf to the side like a rag doll.

Stunned, the Beowolf laid on the ground on its side.

More growling occurred.

Dashie quickly scrolled through his inventory for a weapon, in the end he took out a shield.

He gaped when nothing else was in his slot.

"WHAT THE HELL! THIS MUTHA FUCKER HAS A SHIELD, BUT NO SWORD?!" Dashie screamed with a twitching eyebrow.

Dashie finally noticed the weird looking wolf running at him.

"HIT THE GODDAMN WOLF!" He slung his arm behind him then toss the shield.

The shield headed towards the wolf, but IT MISSED!

"... MY AIM!" Dashie watched as the wolf jumped into the air towards him.

Just for his shield to come back and lodge itself into the wolf's head.

The wolf fell onto the ground before turning into black smoke, leaving only his shield on the ground.

Dashie was quiet before he picked up his shield on the ground.

He began doing a little jig, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET BITCH! NOTHIN COULD SCARE ME!"

"U-um...excuse me?" a soft voice came behind him.

"OH SHIT!"

Velvet watched comically as the blonde knight seemed to jump up high into the air, hitting a branch before crashing down.

Dashie groaned as he laid on the ground.

He looked up before widening his eyes when he was looking up at a skirt.

Finally after all this time.

Running from monsters.

Dodging haters.

And getting friendly with crazy Gals.

"AM I FINALLY ABLE TO SEE THE PUH?!"

"EEEP!" Velvet blushed once she found out where the knight was looking at.

She lifted her foot before crashing it on Jaune's face.

"SHIT!"

"I-I'M SORRY!" Velvet finally calmed down once she realized what she did.

Dashie was now sitting on the ground, he noticed Velvet's long bunny ears.

"YA'LL A BUNNY GIRL MAH GIRL?!"

Velvet was suddenly quiet, looking towards the ground. Her long bunny ears lowered.

"D-Do you H-hate faunus?" her small scared whisper came to Dashie's ear.

Dashie immediately was at her side, slinging an arm over her shoulder.

"What?! Who tha hell would hate you? You Beautiful Mah Girl! I mean you look very fine! Like What!"

"?" Velvet looked up at Dashie with a blink, an embarrassed blush on her face.

Dashie leaned towards her ear and began whispering something that made her feel a small chill run up her spine.

"So uh Baby Girl? You uh... wanna show me the Puh?"

Before she could respond, several footsteps came from behind them.

A pair of footsteps suddenly rushed up at them.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" An enraged female voice came.

"What?" Dashie turned around just to see a female flying towards him, her boots met his face.

Dashie landed away from Velvet who could only look in shock.

"COCO!"

Dashie could only stare at the sky with a wail, "I JUST WANTED THE PUH! FOR ONE TIME!, BUT YA'LL HAD ME TRIPPING WHEN A GIRL WENT JOHN CENA ON MY ASS!"

All he wanted was some good ass Puh, was that so much to ask?


End file.
